How Batman vs. Superman is Shaping Up to Fall Apart

What is that, flying above? Is it a bird? A plane? No. It’s filmmaker Zach Snyder’s latest montage of men in tights, “Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice”.

Oh, and it’s not flying. It’s falling.

Snyder’s second Superman film will soar into theaters March 25, 2016. With less than two full months until its release, we now have four official trailers for Batman vs Superman. Not surprisingly, every new reveal is like one more kryptonite bullet to the head of this piss poor attempt at challenging Marvel Studio’s success streak.

But before we dissect the latest trailer for “Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice”, just one painful thing needs to be addressed. The awful, wretched turd Zach Snyder squeezed passed his cheeks into the eyes of audiences across the globe: “Man of Steel”.

“This is my pooping face.”

Snyder’s debut DC film, “Man of Steel”, hit theaters in June of 2013. With Christopher Nolan (“Batman Begins”, “The Dark Knight”, that one where Tom Hardy has a speech impediment) as executive producer and Snyder’s own pretty impressive panel-to-screen adaptations (“Watchman”, “300”, that one with that orphan girl and the really over-the-top CGI fights), the excitement for a darker and far grittier Superman film was real.

And so was the fucking disappointment.

The biggest problem with “Man of Steel” wasn’t the on-the-nose comparison of Superman to Christ, the contrived romance between Clark Kent and Lois Lane or even, believe it or not, the wanton destruction of Metropolis. It was the fact that none of it amounted to anything.

For a film with three major characters an several more supporting characters, “Man of Steel” relied far too heavily on pointless action. Batman vs. Superman plans to introduce at least five more major characters, not counting any new characters original to this film.

We can expect to see Batman, Lex Luther, fucking Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and Doomsday.

The movie flip flops back and forth from exposition to action, with little actual story in between. Most scenes in the movie could probably be cut with little effect on the overall plot, and it is this that “Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice” needs to avoid at all costs, and almost surely won’t.

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